From The Ugly House; Jessica and Blaine make Mark feel better about fantasy movies by acting one out in a style Mark would prefer. Written by Andy Miara.
Monthly Archives: May 2009
Don’t forget your sunscreen.
When does the pool at Guantanamo Bay open?
Please pass the butter.
When is it appropriate to vocally comment on a child’s weight? What reference point should you use: BMI, waist circumference and waist–hip ratio, or body fat percentage?
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Quiet on the set.
One should never talk during a coffee shop session of a vocal jazz band in a church. You will have people come up and tell you to be quiet. You will have others tell you that you should just leave if you are going to continue to talk.
Church people can be a little uptight while trying to listen to vocal jazz.
I would walk 3,495 miles!
How long do your shoes last you before you need to purchase new ones?
Your highness!
Royal jelly is a honey bee secretion that is used in the nutrition of the larvae. It is secreted from the hypopharyngeal glands in the heads of young workers and used (among other substances) to feed all of the larvae in the colony, including those destined to become workers. If a queen is needed, a larva is chosen and will receive only royal jelly — and in large quantities — as its food source for the first four days of its growth, and this rapid, early feeding triggers the development of queen morphology, including the fully developed ovaries needed to lay eggs.
Leverage is a great thing.
Convince city council to mandate wrenching posts be installed in everyone’s yard.
A metal rod with an eyelet would help yank old freezers out of people’s basements with ease.
Tweet it up!
A law that mandates twittering for public officials.
All meetings, phone calls, thoughts, lunches, dinners, stall chats, and other interactions should be documented–in real-time. These politicians have staffers follow them everywhere, so let’s put those Blackberries, iPhones, and Android-based devices to good use.
Let us push to have mandatory twittering for public officials!
Paying Attention
Sometimes it’s OK to follow the cues of society’s structure.